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All Hail, Pompey - Roman satire of pomp, paperwork, and accidental treason.

One parade. Two bureaucrats. And a triumph nobody asked for.

The year is 61 BCE, and Pompey the Great is about to celebrate his third Triumph—an overblown spectacle of gold, glory, and gratuitous horn-blowing.

Decimus Flaccus, junior clerk of parade logistics, was expecting a quiet week. Instead, he’s drowning in scrollwork, juggling bribery, sabotage, and a very aggressive elephant union.

Tasked with ensuring Rome’s biggest celebration runs smoothly (or at least doesn’t explode), Decimus is joined by his unrequested assistant Gaius—a poet, optimist, and administrative menace.

But when the sacred laurels go missing and a prophetic ode suggests the Republic will fall to “one man who refuses to share his olives,” the duo must unravel a growing conspiracy, survive the parade, and file everything in triplicate.

Because in Rome, glory is fleeting—but bureaucracy is eternal.

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